in perfect time

..hey beanizer! Wake up sleepy head!!..wat a lazy Monday..

..didz what do u want me to discuss??

..feel tired of this routine, can’t feel what I’m emotions, this freedom is bothering me..i need to know the limits of this long will I step on this planet, how long will I see my good ol’ friends again..time runs slow..gud thing, I cud stay awake with didz’s smile and angel’s missing wings..

..what if I only got 3 more days to live? How should Beanizer spent the next second of the hour?..okay..does this thought makes sense?..okay…here we go..

..1st, maybe Iill find all my friends..spend the 1st 24hrs with them..get drunk, share thoughts, listen to them, play in the arcade, get a videoke machine and sing ‘til dawn.

..on my second last day, I’l spend it with my family, especially with my parents—maybe this time I would let them see the weaker side of their youngest child..tell them how I’m proud to have them as my guide, thank them for molding me as to who I am now..and of course, apologize for my shortcomings and the headaches I’v caused them..thank my siblings for being good supporters and juz being there-understanding my giv each of them a tight hug..

..and finally, on my last day..this is to fulfill my dream..i want to be with no one else but with..MYSELF..i want to sit on the highest rock in the shore..close my eyes, hear the waves approaching the other, with my guitar n my hand and a paper with a pencil at my side…the last unspoken sentiment will be unveiled through a song..I want to hear the deep silence..only the wind knows the thought in my mind..the setting of the sun that would tell me evrything’s one can hurt me and no one will be hurt by me.. I lay my feet on the soft sand, letting each particle fill the spaces between my helpless toes..every step flashes the sweet and salty moments of a Beanizer’s life..and

..and fin’lly when the cold water approaches the soles of my feet, it’l be the time when I see my reflection on the moving water, a reflection of that happy child standing smiling back at me as the cool wind whispers in my ears..
”.. let go..” //091409


Didz said...

Ok, first of all...are you a good singer, I mean with good voice? hehe ..but ok maybe I know that based on facts that Filipino sings much better! (I've a filipino friend here and he has a nice voice, used to karaoke with him but not anymore now)
That's really a good thought for anyone to think over, even just for a short time. It seems that you are READY to leave the world, no regrets and no hassles. I like the way you're thinking :) But I'd prefer to spend on family first, the friends come mamaya. Hehe.
Seriously, are u that lonely? It will be hard for me to believe that you are! Bcuz it shouldn't happen for someone like you. The way I know you, a great joker, talented and always make someone like me happy whenever you're around. hehe. Try to go out and socialize more, maybe that will help :) Good post indeed!!