..lousy addictus..

11:21:28AM marks the exact time Beanizer started this lousy post..

It's the 5th day of Febuary, year of metal tiger. Indeed this tiger is running so fast and me, being too lousy to survive a day is..is like a torture(?)..I can't even say the right word to describe it.

What could be a new thing to discuss..??..This is the worst-sweet effect of blog-addiction on me. Every time I find work boring and pissing, I put myself in front of this unknown-gender equipment, exploring the blogs I followed and messing the world where strangers seem like great spectators. I am not even a professional writer, why am I making this post anyway? Now, I'm confused with my attitude.

How long must this day torture me? I can't wait to watch Phineas and Ferb again on Disney. I need to play Plants vS Zombies. Oh no! I'm an addict. I remember last night when the technician-friend came, he asked to transfer the channel to HERO network for Anime marathon, I still insisted to stay on Disney. He laughed of course, I prefer Agent P(i wonder how to make that sound he does) than those mangas (did i say it right?), I can't even remember a name of any of them, I only remember one - Ajinomoto-but it's a food seasoning..oh well, I give up on them. Am i weird?? Maybe I need to visit that Hero channel for the sake of knowing my nephews' fave characters and prevent my nose from bleeding when they discuss those stuffs. Haist.

I guess I'm not just lousy, I'm becoming a bit crazy now discussing nonsense.
Sorry for the inconvenience readers..
Beanizer's system under repair.

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--my night class--

Yesternight was one of the best nights I had. I was enjoying like no tomorrow. It happened because of one person, my sweet baby, KiMi(see right), my 3-year old nephew. I admit it, I was really amazed of this kid's personality.

I was uploading pictures on FB when they arrived. I didn't mind him at first, until he drew closer to me and asked me in our own dialect.

Translated conversation:
KM: "(______), are the monsters still there in your computer?"
me: " Yup, do you want to play?"
KM: (nod)..
His mom: Kimi, you forgot something?
KM: "Good evening! (better late than never)
(he reached me, kissed my nose and sat on my lap)..
KM: "Are you afaid of the monsters,(__)?"
me: "No, but we have to eat dinner first so we can kill all of them."
KM: "But, aren't they going anywhere?"
me: (carrying him) "They're still sleeping, we'll wake them up later"

after dinner:
KM: "Let's wake the monsters"
me: "Later"
KM: "But,you promised"
me: "They need enough sleep"
KM: (dropped his face)
me: "Ok"

He sat on my lap while entering "The House of the Dead" (the game).
Everytime a dead man hit me, he would ask "You're not hurt, right?" and I would answer "No, they can't hurt us".
We played different games one after another. The most he enjoyed was "Plants vs Zombies"..I keep on telling him "We have to protect your house" while pointing the label "Kimi's House" each time it was displayed on screen. He was cracking when those zombies ate the bombs and explode. Though I feel annoyed sometimes when he asked unending WHYs and HOWs, I still ended up answering like a recorder.
When his mom told him they're going home, he immediately got off my lap.
The funny thing was when I tried to call him back:
me: "Look, we have new plants, come here"
KM: "It's already late, I'll see it tomorrow ok?"
I was shocked. It seemed like I was the 3-yo and he was the grown man.

For the nth time, I have proven to myself I am still a kid. A kid learning on other kids. The lessons he taught me last night:
1/ Promises are made NOT TO BE BROKEN.
2/ When someone hurts you, you should NOT PITY yourself.
3/ Old stuffs (like those games) CAN STILL make you happy.
4/ Never get tired of giving reasons so others CAN LEARN/UNDERSTAND.
5/ There's always TIME for everything.



~~BEANIZER~~the kid

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also a victim - 25 random things..

Ok, I had fun reading few responses on this interesting "tagging" until i found some crazy people who included me in the list of their chosen victims.

This is in response to LUCKY ANGEL tag.

"25 random things, facts, habits, or goals about ME.At the end, choose up to 25 people to be tagged. You have to tag the person who tagged you. If I tagged you, it's because I want to know more about you"

Here's my list:

1/ i love mr. bean
2/ i can't live w/o music but i'll die listening to "rock" ones
3/ today i'm sweet, tomorrow i'm rude
4/ i'm desperately learning to play piano(keyboard) on my own but my left fingers are out of control
5/ obviously, 5 is my perfect number!
6/ i don't know why i'm doing this
7/ i am the only member in the family who doesn't know how to play volleyball (my other siblings are varsity players) :(
8/ i know how to play basketball, table-tennis, chess and few kid stuffs..
9/ i know the trick to solve a 3-layer rubix cube (just bcoz my friend taught me)
10/ i am not good lover but i know i am faithful enough
11/ i easily get bored
12/ i am making this post 10:30exactly, office hours
13/ i am not a fan of the color "red",,i prefer white, blue, black..
14/ i own a migraine :(
15/ i hate being dictated, but i am perfect in demanding
16/ i am not a forgiving person
17/ i don't believe in "sorry"
18/ i miss school
19/ i wish to die at a young age
20/ my only fear - getting old
21/ i hate noise (who doesn't?)
22/ you can make me fall in love easily, but hardly fall out of love
23/ i sleep like a clock, you will fall out of bed if you sleep beside me
24/ i don't use blue pens (but blue is my fave color)
25/ i am thinking whom to pass this tagging, coz i don't know how to tag..
now, i'm done..

My turn to give this sweet-torture on these beautiful people:

a/ crAzy diDz
b/ wYtwitcH
c/ robBie
d/kyungmEe
e/ shaniE
f/ mileS
g/ deeja
h/ iAntie
i/ aNgel
j/ a womAn with a woNderful life
k/ loSt but neVer forgOtten
l/ woLverine
m/ roCky
n/ claiMund
o/ g-r-A-n-e
p/ kaRen
q/ maldiTa

--mission accomplished--

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~~unanswered~~

Just yesterday, I've read a beautiful piece written by one of the amazing bloggers I've chosen to follow. I'm just not sure if its a fiction or her own story. Anyway, it narrates a situation of this subject I used to get tired dealing with

--LOVE, BREAKING & LETTING GO.

In my other blog, I once mentioned --IS WAITING THE PROOF OF TRUE LOVE?,,now I opted to give another asking of "possible" proof of that same love every one has been enjoying to discuss..

>LETTING GO:
A SIGN OF COWARDICE?
A REASON OF ESCAPE?
or simply A PROOF OF TRUE LOVE??

Some say, if you truly love the person, you must fight for that love regardless of all the WHAT IFs. Some say, if you do love that person, you have to be on her/his side at all possible times. Some say, don't ever give a reason to leave her/him if you know the feeling is mutual. Some say, you must learn to set her/him free if you wanted her/him to be happy. Some say, never complicate her/him if you want to save the love. Some say, hold on and believe. Some even say, if you're meant to be, you will forever be.


Which is which? Which do you stand for?

if you try to ask me with this matter,,
My answer would be,,

it's not really the meaning of love that would perfectly define it..
it is the ONE you CHOOSE to love that would prove you perfectly felt it.

~~HOW ABOUT YOU??~~

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bye moo..hello grrrrrrr......

Dearest EARTH OX,


The moments I had with you for the last 365 days taught me so much things in life. Moments that exposed me to sweet and bitter realities that the earlier years failed to teach me.

You approached me with your first days and months with a broken heart. I was never that lonely facing you as the new year. I never wanted your other days to come ‘coz all I can feel was the pain lurking inside me. I wished to drown my whole being so as to escape from this damaged self. But you never gave up on me. I was helpless when you let the air enter my nostrils each day and pushing the sun rays to touch my dead soul. And so I have nothing to do but wait for your uncertain presents.

But living your air and sunshine led me to boredom. I knew I have to get along with your days despite the odds. I knew I had to be numb and deal the yesterday’s memory with passivity for my own survival. And I knew I did succeed.

I succeed- I knew it. I was braver enough of accepting the just reality that “not all things are made for us”. We have to let them go. Not just because we wanted them to be happy, but because we needed to free ourselves from impossible dreams.

I realized one valuable thing you taught me:

LOVE would never be enough if you’re not willing to invest TIME on it. And TIME will never be the best proof of love if you wanted to escape the hurting.

I may not be an expert when it comes to love and life. I never wanted to be one. I only want to learn and understand their vague meaning.

I thank you for giving me the chance to smile, cry, laugh, grin and learn again in your 8,760hours. I’m grateful for helping me realize the value of friendship, relationship and self-respect.

Please whisper to the METAL TIGER to keep everyone safe and happy for another 12 long months.


Saying Farewell,


FIRE TIGER

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